Van Helsing

VAN HELSING (2004) - May 5, 2004
An overlong, over-the-top bore. The first ten minutes or so, a black and white homage to Universal's classic monster movies, was the sole highlight of this crap-fest. Even the usually excellent Hugh Jackman isn't that great in this crappy crap-pile. The movie consists of one over-the-top, unexciting action sequence after another. In fact, the action scenes are so close together, I doubt that there's much more than three or four minutes of downtime between them. I would say that 90 percent of this movie's bloated run-time is dedicated to action. Towards the end it becomes tedious to sit through. It doesn't help that the people playing Dracula and his three flying girlfriends are ludicrously over-the-top to the point of annoyance. This is the first big action movie of the summer, and I'm sure it will also be the worst (one can only hope, at least). *