Silent Hill

SILENT HILL (2006) - May 2, 2006
Sweet Jesus. Based on the trailers, and the fact that the people behind the camera have talent (supposedly), this seemed like it should have been the first really good video game adaptation. It was one of the worst. It had some promise at the beginning; it had a creepy atmosphere and it seemed generally well made. But then it started to get strange. But not strange in a good way -- strange in a "what's supposed to be happening here?" type of way. Strange in a "why are the characters acting like this?" type of way. It just got more and more confusing, with random oddball stuff happening for no apparent reason. The plot had something to do with a ghost town, and a fire, and some weird little girl... I really actually have no idea what the plot was. Aside from being confusing, the writing was about on the same level as a low budget, straight-to-video movie, with such gems as "They used to say this town was haunted... I think they were right!" (this being after they've seen several bizarre demons, a swarm of giant cockroaches with human-like mouths, among other various bits of weirdness). The performances weren't much better. Even the usually reliable Sean Bean seemed completely uncomfortable with a forced, awkward American accent. The movie generally looked pretty good, but it was such a boring, baffling ordeal, I didn't really care. If I ever see Roger Avery I'm going to punch him in the stomach and demand my ten bucks back. *